Boundaries Expert Says Adults Carry Childhood Inability to Set Boundaries into Adulthood

What was said

"Having boundaries requires emotional safety. Or at least physical safety. Yeah, so for kids who are not emotionally safe where they have a caregiver who understands, respects, listens, shows some level of concern, they can't have boundaries. There are some people who grow up in households where where, you know, parents might even say to them, 'You can't say that to me. You have to listen to me. You can't question this.'"

Nedra Glover Tauab explains that children raised without emotional safety cannot develop healthy boundaries, and this deficit persists into adulthood. She reveals that authoritarian parenting styles that forbid children from questioning or pushing back create adults who struggle with assertiveness. Tauab emphasizes that much of her therapeutic work involves teaching adults they now have permission to set boundaries they were denied as children.