Psychology
Emotional Empathy Without Boundaries Is Actually Self-Abandonment, Says Quinn and Walter
Modern Wisdom
How The Partner You Choose Reveals Your Self-Worth - Quinlan Walther - #1110
"Empathy without boundaries is self-abandonment. And on the backend of empathy that lacks boundaries, is some sense of lack. Like, okay, if I just empathize enough, if I can understand why this person is treating me so badly, then I'll be able to rationalize it and I can keep them around a little bit longer because I still need to be chosen."
Quinn and Walter argues that excessive empathy in relationships serves a selfish function, allowing people to rationalize mistreatment to avoid facing abandonment fears. She contends that over-empathizing becomes a protection mechanism masking deeper insecurity about being alone, transforming what appears virtuous into self-destructive behavior.
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Modern Wisdom