Comedian Got Two DUIs in 14 Days While Wearing Ankle Monitor
"I got 2 DWIs in 14 days. The first one, I was actually turning into my neighborhood. I got pulled over for not using my blinker, and I was in a turn-only lane. The second one, the cop was like, 'How much have you had to drink tonight?' I said 7. He was like, 'How long have you been drinking?' I said 3 and a half hours."
About this episode
Tony Hinchcliffe hosted episode 780 of Kill Tony at the Comedy Mothership in Austin, featuring guest panelists Brad Williams and surprise appearance by breakout regular Timmy No Breaks in his first-ever panel spot. The episode, sponsored by Netflix promoting the Roast of Kevin Hart and Kill Tony Mania special, featured a chaotic mix of amateur comedians pulled from a bucket alongside regular Pat O'Neill opening the show with sharp racial and political jokes. The night took several shocking turns when Michael K revealed he spent what would now be hundreds of millions in Bitcoin on cocaine from the Silk Road darknet marketplace 15 years ago and was later subpoenaed for his role at the failed Mt. Gox exchange. Bobby Ludlum disclosed he forgot he had been shot for three years until a jail body scanner revealed a bullet in his kneecap. Japanese comedian Daisuke, a 23-year veteran performing in broken English he learned two years ago, delivered one of the night's strongest sets about being a kamikaze comedian who returns to Japan every three months to make money. UFC veteran Eric Spicely claimed WWE told him to use steroids after rejecting him for being too small. Remington Blake Windsor, wearing an ankle monitor, confessed to two DUIs in 14 days and carrying brass knuckles. The episode also featured golden ticket winner Angel Diaz discussing his sexual techniques in graphic detail, Ty Funny revealing he was fired as a YMCA aquatic director for stealing a Hot Pocket despite training with Michael Phelps, and multiple amateur comedians bombing spectacularly while Timmy No Breaks ate garlic bread and drank from a juice box throughout the show.
Key takeaways
- Michael K revealed he spent what is now worth hundreds of millions in Bitcoin buying cocaine on Silk Road 15 years ago and was subpoenaed by Southern District of New York for working at Mt. Gox exchange that lost 600,000 Bitcoin.
- Bobby Ludlum discovered he had been shot only when a jail body scanner found a bullet in his kneecap three years after the incident, which he had completely forgotten about.
- UFC fighter Eric Spicely with an 8-fight record claimed WWE rejected him for being too small and essentially told him to use steroids.
- Remington Blake Windsor received two DUIs within 14 days, both near his home, after admitting exact drink counts to police and now wears an ankle monitor.
- Japanese comedian Daisuke performing in English he learned two years ago delivered a kamikaze-themed set about returning to Japan quarterly to fund his New York comedy career.
- Ty Funny was fired as YMCA aquatic director for stealing a Hot Pocket despite being from Baltimore and training with Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps.
- Timmy No Breaks made his first panel appearance eating garlic bread and drinking juice boxes while making one-note gay jokes throughout the episode.