Olivia Bowen thought she would die during childbirth hemorrhage leaving son motherless
"I had a really bad hemorrhage. And the one thing I remember feeling is like I've got like my little boy at home like waiting for me to come home and I'm not going to make it home because I've decided to have another baby. Like the guilt was unreal. I remember that bit like that like so clear in my head thinking what have you done? You're so selfish."
About this episode
Olivia Bowen, one of Love Island UK's original breakout stars from the landmark 2016 series, sits down for an unflinching conversation about mental health struggles that have shadowed her seemingly glamorous life. The influencer and mother of two reveals she has battled disordered eating since age 11, unable to eat in front of others throughout her teenage years until Love Island inadvertently provided exposure therapy at age 22. Most strikingly, Bowen discloses that self-harm behaviors returned in her late twenties following the traumatic birth of her first child Abel, a revelation that shocked husband Alex when he discovered it. The couple, who married after meeting on Love Island, navigated severe postpartum struggles together, with both seeking separate therapy. Bowen also discusses experiencing vanishing twin syndrome during her second pregnancy with daughter Sienna, losing one twin at 9 weeks while the other continued developing, and a severe hemorrhage during Sienna's birth that made her believe she was dying. Throughout the conversation, she addresses the psychological toll of constant online criticism telling her she wasn't attractive enough for her husband, attacks that reinforced lifelong insecurities despite her public success. Bowen credits her father, with whom she now shares a close relationship, and her husband's unwavering support as anchors during her darkest periods. She reveals a missed opportunity to present a Netflix show in New York that was cancelled by COVID, and reflects on how speaking publicly about baby loss connected her with thousands of women who felt validated by her openness. The conversation challenges the polished Instagram image of the influencer with three million followers, revealing years of pain behind the posts.
Key takeaways
- Olivia Bowen reveals self-harm behaviors continued into her late twenties after postpartum struggles, shocking husband Alex who discovered her actions
- The Love Island star credits the 2016 reality show with curing decade-long disordered eating through forced exposure therapy during communal meals
- Bowen experienced vanishing twin syndrome during second pregnancy, losing one twin at 9 weeks while carrying daughter Sienna to term
- Reality star nearly died from severe hemorrhage during daughter's birth, believing she would leave son Abel motherless due to decision to have second child
- Daily online abuse telling Bowen she was not attractive enough for husband Alex reinforced lifelong insecurities and contributed to eating disorder relapse
- COVID pandemic cancelled confirmed Netflix presenting opportunity in New York that would have required family relocation and altered life trajectory
- Both Bowen and husband Alex sought separate therapy to save marriage after postpartum period nearly broke them as neither could support the other