Stonewalling Is Panic Not Power: Heart Rate Soars to 140-150 BPM

What was said

"What goes along with stonewalling is a heart rate over 100 beats a minute. Because John and Bob had their couples hooked up to physiology that measured heart rate, we saw those heart rates, like, through the ceiling. 140, 150, and so on. 10 seconds before they started stonewalling."

The Gottmans corrected a widespread misunderstanding about stonewalling in relationships. Physiological research revealed that when partners shut down and appear calm during conflict, their heart rates spike to 140-150 beats per minute, indicating they are in fight-or-flight panic, not engaging in a deliberate power play.