In Big Think’s “The Me I Used To Be”, comedian Margaret Cho reflects on formative experiences she says shaped her sense of self and her relationship to comedy. Watching early footage, Cho says she hears insecurity in her younger voice and ties it to feelings of being “unlovable” and out of place, which she links to family disruption after her father’s deportation when she was born. She also recalls growing up around a gay bookstore during the AIDS crisis, describing the impact of widespread loss and stigmatising rhetoric.
Cho says comedy became a source of safety and power in adolescence, even as she recounts childhood trauma including rape and sexual assault. Later, she describes using alcohol, drugs and partying to avoid emotion and bodily sensation, framing humour itself as a deflection mechanism.
Discussing body image and television, Cho says she internalised harsh criticism and alleges that people on her sitcom “All American Girl” made clear the show could not continue unless she lost weight; she connects this to stereotyped expectations of Asian women on screen. Cho also recounts addiction in her 40s, including a suicide attempt while intoxicated, and says she ultimately got sober through treatment, staying in a facility for 22 months. She closes by describing outgrowing beliefs that she was “not enough”, and says she would tell her younger self: “Everything is going to be all right.”
Cho says people involved with her sitcom "All American Girl" conveyed that the production could not continue unless she lost weight. She links the pressure to stereotypes she says were applied to Asian women on television, describing expectations to appear petite and quiet.
Read this moment →