On this episode of On Purpose, host Jay Shetty sits down with social media influencer Emily Kaiser for an intimate and raw conversation about the drowning death of her three-year-old son Trigg in May 2024 and navigating public grief. Kaiser, who had built a following sharing family vlogs, describes receiving the phone call from her husband that Trigg had fallen in their pool while she was at dinner five weeks postpartum with their newborn son Teddy. The toddler died a week later. The conversation covers the extreme invasion of privacy Kaiser experienced, with news helicopters circling her home and crews stationed outside while she grieved, leading to PTSD she still experiences. Kaiser reveals she initially felt anger toward her husband but ultimately chose forgiveness after realizing the accident could have happened on her watch, detailing how he was caring for their newborn when it occurred. She shares the deathbed promise she made to Trigg to care for his younger brother, which has become her primary motivation to continue. Kaiser challenges common grief narratives, explaining that grief specialists told her the five stages of grief model was designed for elderly people accepting death, not bereaved parents, and that parental grief never ends but coexists with other emotions. She addresses the public scrutiny and online commentary judging her parenting, stating no external criticism could exceed the blame she places on herself. Kaiser uses her platform to advocate for multiple layers of drowning prevention including pool fences, ISR survival swim lessons, door alarms and sensors, rejecting the unrealistic standard of 100% parental vigilance and acknowledging she regrets choosing a pool net over a fence. The episode provides an unflinching look at the reality of losing a child, navigating marriage through shared trauma, parenting while grieving, and attempting to return to work as a content creator under intense public observation.
Emily Kaiser shared an intimate detail from her son Trigg's final moments, revealing she made a deathbed promise to care for his younger brother Teddy. This promise has become her primary motivation for continuing forward despite overwhelming grief. The revelation provides insight into the profound emotional exchanges that occur in a child's final moments.
Read this moment →Emily Kaiser described the invasive media presence following her son's drowning, with news helicopters overhead and crews stationed outside her home while she was five weeks postpartum and grieving. She revealed she now experiences PTSD when hearing helicopters. The disclosure highlights the extreme cost of public grief for social media figures.
Read this moment →Emily Kaiser contradicted the common parenting advice of constant vigilance, arguing that realistic drowning prevention requires multiple physical barriers including pool fences, ISR swim lessons, door alarms, and pool sensors. She acknowledged choosing a pool net over a fence was a decision she now regrets. Her message challenges the unrealistic expectation that parents can watch children 100% of the time.
Read this moment →Emily Kaiser detailed the complex process of forgiving her husband Brady after their son Trigg drowned while in his care. She explained he was caring for their five-week-old newborn when the accident occurred and acknowledged the situation could have been reversed. Despite initial anger and uncertainty about their marriage, she chose empathy after realizing she would want the same forgiveness.
Read this moment →Emily Kaiser shared advice from grief specialist Dr. Joanne Cacciatori, who runs a care farm for bereaved parents, explaining that the widely-taught five stages of grief model was never intended for parents who lost children. The doctor emphasized that parental grief has no stages and never ends, challenging mainstream grief counseling approaches. Kaiser attended the care farm within two weeks of her son's death.
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