Sarah Hiscox Admits Taking Heroin While Pregnant With Second Son
"I imposed this very strict rule on myself that I would use 3 days on, 3 days off, because somebody told me— not a doctor, obviously— um, that the baby wouldn't be born addicted to heroin. So that's what I did. And it was those 3 days off, all I could think about was those 3 days on. And then the 3 days on were just filled with this awful guilt, this terrible guilt of like, you know, who are you?"
About this episode
Davina McCall interviews her best friend of 40 years, Sarah Hiscox, about her newly released memoir The Beginning and the End of Everything. The conversation reveals shocking details about Hiscox's lifelong struggle with addiction that began when a doctor prescribed her Mogadon, a powerful sleeping pill, at age 8. Hiscox describes growing up with an alcoholic mother who prized thinness and beauty above all, leading to severe bulimia and eventually heroin addiction. The episode centers on two profound interventions: McCall's 1988 confrontation with Hiscox about her heroin use, which led to McCall's own recovery, and years later when Hiscox confronted McCall in a car outside her flat, triggering McCall's journey to sobriety. Hiscox makes the controversial admission that she used heroin during her pregnancy with her second son, following a dangerous 3-days-on, 3-days-off pattern. Her addiction cost her everything: her husband Renshaw divorced her and took custody of their two sons. The ultimate love story unfolds when, after years of recovery and supervised visits, Renshaw asked Hiscox to remarry him the day after their divorce was finalized. They remarried in a small ceremony with their children, had a third child together, and remain deeply in love. The episode concludes with a letter from Hiscox's son Linus assuring his mother that despite her fears, she didn't damage her children but instead made their dreams come true. Both women credit each other with saving their lives and describe their bond as chosen family stronger than blood.
Key takeaways
- Sarah Hiscox reveals that at age 8, a doctor prescribed her Mogadon, a highly addictive sleeping pill no longer available, starting a lifelong addiction pattern that she didn't recognize as abnormal until writing her memoir.
- Hiscox admits to using heroin during her pregnancy with her second son Beach, following a 3-days-on, 3-days-off pattern based on non-medical advice, describing overwhelming guilt that the love for her children wasn't enough to stop her.
- Davina McCall confronted Hiscox about her heroin use in 1988 in a car outside her flat, telling her people were talking about her, which triggered Hiscox to attend a recovery meeting the next day and never use again.
- Hiscox's ex-husband Renshaw divorced her and took custody of their sons due to her heroin addiction, but after years of sobriety and supervised visits, asked her to remarry him the day after their divorce was finalized.
- Both women describe a mutual lifesaving bond where McCall helped Hiscox begin recovery from heroin addiction and Hiscox later helped McCall through her own addiction crisis, creating a chosen family relationship spanning 40 years.
- Hiscox struggled with severe bulimia which she describes as worse internally than heroin addiction, characterized by violent self-loathing and the shame of a disease with no glamour that kept her silent for years.
- In a letter read during the interview, Hiscox's son Linus directly tells his mother that despite her fears about damaging her children, she made their dreams come true and they have only felt safe and loved.