Perceived Similarity Matters More Than Actual Compatibility in Relationship Success

What was said

"Perceived similarity is this general sense like, eh, we have a lot in common. There are a million things that we could talk about. We share the same values and attitudes and preferences about things in general. Because it's so free-floating, I, as the perceiver, get to attach it to whatever I want. And that affords people to have a certain amount of motivated reasoning so that when they like somebody a lot, they will find the similarities there."

Eastwick's research shows that people in happy relationships exhibit motivated reasoning, finding commonalities wherever they look and deciding those are what matter most. Actual measured similarity between partners predicts compatibility no better than a coin flip, while subjective perception of shared values drives relationship satisfaction, explaining why objective matching algorithms fail.