Cohabitation Before Marriage Increases Divorce Risk by 20 to 50 Percent
"Divorce rate for people who cohabited before marriage, 31.4%. Divorce rate for people who did not cohabitate before marriage, 25.9%. Earlier research often found premarital cohabitation associated with roughly 20 to 50% higher divorce risk depending on controls and demographics."
About this episode
Chris Williamson sits down with conservative author and cultural critic Suzanne Venker for a provocative two-hour conversation about marriage, motherhood, and the messages young women receive about building their lives. Venker, who has written extensively on feminism and family structure for 25 years, argues that modern women have been systematically misled by feminist ideology rooted in the dysfunctional family backgrounds of 1970s second-wave leaders. She claims these influential voices extrapolated personal trauma into universal narratives about marriage being oppressive, leaving generations of women unprepared for the biological and emotional realities of wanting children in their thirties. The conversation explores Venker's controversial thesis that women should structure their education and career choices around future family plans rather than career ambitions, choosing flexible professions and carefully vetting male partners for earning potential. She presents data showing 80% of childless women at menopause did not intend to be child-free, and links daycare normalization to attachment disorders and the childhood obesity epidemic. Williamson pushes back thoughtfully on economic constraints and challenges Venker to address the practicalities young women face, including cohabitation trends, student debt, and the tension between financial independence and maternal presence. Venker frames her advice as countercultural but evidence-based, urging women to reject the cultural imperative to live like men and instead embrace traditionally feminine roles without shame. The episode concludes with Venker's assertion that no career achievement compares to the meaning derived from raising children, though she acknowledges this runs counter to every mainstream message young women receive today.
Key takeaways
- Venker claims founding second-wave feminists had dysfunctional family backgrounds they wrongly extrapolated to all women and marriage.
- Data shows 80% of childless women at menopause did not intend to remain childless, contradicting narratives about choice.
- Venker argues women should choose careers with flexibility around future motherhood rather than prioritizing status and income.
- Couples who cohabitate before marriage divorce 20-50% more often due to sliding into marriage rather than deciding intentionally.
- Daycare was designed for poor families but normalized across all classes, which Venker says prevents secure attachment in children.
- Childhood obesity tripled when mothers entered the workforce en masse because home cooking disappeared from daily life.
- Venker urges women to date with clear intention about marriage and family goals early to avoid lifestyle creep and mismatched expectations.