Study Shows Partner's Work Stress Can Kill Your Sex Drive Remotely
"There are studies that show that if you are really stressed out, somebody is really stressed out, and at work, their partner, their partner will lose his or her sex drive. In other words, that's how much this crosses over."
About this episode
On this episode of The Ed Mylett Show, host Ed Mylett sat down with psychologist and bestselling author Guy Winch to discuss the hidden costs of work addiction, stress culture, and the struggle to achieve work-life balance in modern society. Winch, whose books have been translated into 30 languages and whose TED Talks have garnered over 40 million views, promoted his new book Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life. The conversation opened with Mylett describing a scene from the Taylor Sheridan show Madison, in which an aging character reflects on people who worked their entire lives only to arrive at retirement too physically broken to enjoy it. Both men admitted to making nearly every mistake detailed in Winch's book, with Mylett confessing he has no memory of major childhood moments with his own kids despite being physically present due to chronic mental fatigue. Winch presented research showing that workplace stress is contagious—partners of highly stressed workers lose their sex drive—and that women who complete work faster than men are judged less favorably because culture rewards hours over results. The psychologist outlined specific tactics including micro-breaks, transition rituals between work and home, reframing rumination as problem-solving, and adopting a challenge rather than threat mindset. Mylett revealed he recently took a multi-year hiatus from social media due to health issues caused by overwork, and recounted how a friend once told him bluntly that he treated himself like a slave. Winch emphasized that self-care is not indulgence but giving oxygen to parts of personality unexpressed at work, citing his own years doing stand-up comedy after 9/11 to decompress. The episode closed with practical advice on creating daily rituals to shift mindset from work mode to life mode, including changing clothes, using music playlists, and shutting down visual work cues at home.
Key takeaways
- Winch cited studies showing women who complete work more efficiently than men are judged less favorably because culture rewards hours over results.
- Research presented revealed that when one partner experiences high work stress, the other partner measurably loses sex drive, showing stress contagion.
- Mylett admitted he has no memory of major moments with his children despite being present due to chronic mental exhaustion from overwork.
- Winch explained rumination turns a 5-minute workplace conflict into hours of cortisol flooding by mentally replaying upsetting events without resolution.
- The psychologist recommended micro-breaks curated intentionally throughout demanding days to refresh cognition, creativity, and executive function.
- Winch shared he performed stand-up comedy for years after 9/11 to express parts of his personality unexpressed during his workday as a therapist.
- Both host and guest emphasized creating transition rituals between work and home including changing clothes, music playlists, and shutting down visual work cues.