Psychology
Ramani Claims Forgiveness Is Not Always Healthy and Can Set Survivors Back
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Dr. Ramani: If You're Thinking About Going No Contact With a Family Member - Listen to THIS (How to Know If It's Time To Walk Away)
"Is forgiveness always healthy? No. Hell no. I have seen people heal brilliantly without forgiving. When forgiveness is repeatedly offered in situations where the harmful behavior is ongoing, the forgiver actually experiences negative psychological consequences. If anything, they'd feel like forgiving this person feels like one more form of self-abandonment."
Dr. Ramani challenged the widespread cultural and spiritual emphasis on forgiveness, stating that she has seen countless survivors heal without forgiving their abusers. She argued that when forgiveness is done performatively or from a place of shame or self-abandonment, it can actually set healing back. She cited psychological literature showing negative consequences when forgiveness is repeatedly offered amid ongoing harm, contradicting mainstream therapeutic and spiritual narratives.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty