All Parents Traumatize Their Children Because Perfect Parenting Is Impossible

What was said

"It is unrealistic to imagine that moments of disconnection, not meeting an expectation, not meeting a child's need or a partner's need is part of the human experience. Conflict, disagreement, disconnection, unmet needs are a natural part of a relational experience. What is an indicator of the health of a relationship is the ability to have a different awareness, make space for a different perspective, take accountability, and repair on the other side of it."

LePera argued all children experience developmental wounds because no parent can be perfectly attuned at all times, reframing the goal from avoiding all harm to modeling repair after rupture. She emphasized that interpersonal research shows conflict is normal and that the capacity to acknowledge, apologize, and reconnect determines relationship security, not the absence of mistakes.