Relationships & Family

Kinnaman Confesses Unreliability in Personal Life Despite Professional Discipline

Lewis Howes School of Greatness · Fear, Shame, and the Fight to Get Out of Your Own Way | Joel Kinnaman · May 27, 2026

Lewis Howes School of Greatness

Fear, Shame, and the Fight to Get Out of Your Own Way | Joel Kinnaman

"I'm a disaster. I mean, it's not hard for me to be vulnerable, but then I kind of let myself down by not being consistent enough and not being dependable enough. And it's a little like, you know, I kind of just need to man up a little bit in my life and be a stronger constant."

The actor candidly admitted he has been unreliable and inconsistent in his personal relationships despite maintaining rigorous discipline in his professional work. Kinnaman stated he has allowed himself to become too affected by outside stimuli and has failed to keep his word in intimate relationships, describing himself as a disaster in that arena. He expressed a commitment to becoming more dependable and creating structure while preserving his childlike creativity.

About this episode

In this episode of The School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes sits down with actor Joel Kinnaman for an unusually candid conversation about the psychological battles behind his Hollywood success. Kinnaman, known for roles in The Killing, Suicide Squad, Altered Carbon, and For All Mankind, reveals the debilitating stage fright, eating disorder, and panic attacks that plagued his early career in Sweden's National Theater School. The actor describes a pivotal breakdown during a storytelling exercise where he blacked out on stage in front of the entire school, frozen for three minutes before walking off. Rather than quitting, Kinnaman used the humiliation as fuel, creating a solo performance with 16 distinct characters that he credits as the foundation of his career. The conversation shifts to Kinnaman's Hollywood journey, including his admission of heavy cocaine use—up to four times weekly—during a career downturn after RoboCop underperformed. He describes rebuilding his momentum by over-preparing for auditions with a chip on his shoulder, eventually landing Suicide Squad. Most strikingly, Kinnaman acknowledges his inability to bring the same reliability and consistency to personal relationships that he maintains professionally, calling himself a disaster in that arena. He discusses the tension between preserving his childlike creative spirit and stepping into leadership and commitment in his marriage, revealing he wants to create a family but has struggled with dependability. The episode closes with Kinnaman's three truths: face your fears head on, we are love, and live in generosity.

Key takeaways

Kinnaman admitted using cocaine two to four times weekly during a Hollywood career downturn after RoboCop underperformed at the box office.
He suffered a three-minute panic attack onstage at theater school that he credits as the seminal moment shaping his approach to fear and preparation.
The actor vomited before every theater performance for four years due to severe stage fright and negative inner voices telling him he was unworthy.
Kinnaman acknowledged being unreliable and inconsistent in personal relationships despite maintaining rigorous professional discipline, calling himself a disaster in that arena.
He described using actual drugs when playing characters who used substances as part of a destructive early method acting approach driven by insecurity.
Kinnaman created a solo theater performance with 16 distinct characters after his panic attack breakdown, which became his breakthrough moment of confidence.
He currently has three shows airing simultaneously and endures five-hour makeup sessions starting at 1 a.m. for his role as an 80-year-old in For All Mankind.