Relationships & Family

O'Connor Claims Internal Conflict About Values Prevents Him From Having Children

Name: O'Connor Claims Internal Conflict About Values Prevents Him From Having Children
Uploaded: 2026-05-25T07:21:00+00:00
Description: When asked how to explain a good life to a 10-year-old, O'Connor reveals he lacks sufficient certainty about fundamental values to responsibly raise children. He argues that alignment on core values between parents is essential for child-rearing, and he hasn't achieved that alignment even within himself.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty · Alex O’Connor: #1 Shift That Stops Endless Overthinking (FINALLY Get Unstuck) · May 25, 2026

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Alex O’Connor: #1 Shift That Stops Endless Overthinking (FINALLY Get Unstuck)

"One of the reasons why I wouldn't have a child at the moment is because I don't know how to answer that question. If you don't have an idea of what makes the good life, then it's going to be very difficult to raise a child. There's too much internal conflict. I disagree with myself too much."

When asked how to explain a good life to a 10-year-old, O'Connor reveals he lacks sufficient certainty about fundamental values to responsibly raise children. He argues that alignment on core values between parents is essential for child-rearing, and he hasn't achieved that alignment even within himself.

About this episode

On this episode of On Purpose, host Jay Shetty sits down with philosopher and YouTuber Alex O'Connor for a wide-ranging conversation exploring consciousness, science, death, and the nature of philosophical inquiry. O'Connor, known for his debates and interviews on religious and philosophical topics, reveals a rebellious youth that included failing his first A-level exams before eventually attending Oxford. The conversation's most striking moments center on O'Connor's critique of scientific explanation versus description, where he argues that science fundamentally describes phenomena mathematically rather than answering foundational why questions about existence and consciousness. Drawing on Newton's own admission that he didn't know what gravity actually is, O'Connor contends that physics presupposes the existence of matter and therefore cannot explain its origin. O'Connor presents compelling evidence from split-brain patient research showing the left hemisphere confabulates explanations for actions initiated by the right hemisphere, suggesting humans constantly rationalize decisions after the fact without realizing it. He integrates Western neuroscience with Advaita Vedanta philosophy, arguing consciousness cannot be reduced to neural activity because mental experiences and brain states possess fundamentally different properties. The discussion culminates in O'Connor revealing his views on death, where he finds consolation in the philosophical position that the unified self is an illusion that never truly existed. He acknowledges this uncertainty about fundamental values prevents him from having children, as he lacks sufficient conviction about what constitutes a good life to responsibly raise another person.

Key takeaways

O'Connor argues science describes phenomena mathematically but cannot explain foundational questions like the origin of matter or consciousness.
Split-brain patient experiments demonstrate the left hemisphere confabulates explanations for actions, suggesting humans constantly rationalize decisions after the fact.
O'Connor contends consciousness cannot be identical to brain activity because they possess different properties under Leibniz's Law of identity.
O'Connor reveals his internal uncertainty about fundamental values prevents him from having children, as he disagrees with himself too much.
O'Connor finds consolation about death through the philosophical view that the unified self is an illusion that never truly began.
O'Connor stopped doing as many debates because they're fundamentally about ego rather than truth-seeking, though he acknowledges they can be entertaining.
O'Connor draws connections between ancient Advaita Vedanta philosophy, modern neuroscience, and psychedelic experiences regarding the illusory nature of self.