Grey Suffered Imposter Syndrome After Instant Success, Felt Hit Was Too Easy
"I definitely had a little imposter syndrome because I was just like, that was too easy. It took me 15 minutes to write that hook and suddenly everybody wanted to get a song from me. I felt so much pressure to deliver a hit song every time."
About this episode
Joe Rogan sits down with singer-songwriter Skylar Grey for a raw and wide-ranging conversation that traces her unconventional path from small-town Wisconsin child performer to the writer behind Eminem's massive hit Love the Way You Lie. Grey, now 40 and living on a biodynamic vineyard in Napa Valley, opens up about the extreme lows that preceded her breakthrough, including editing hardcore porn for two weeks after her first record deal flopped, an experience that left her with hallucinatory side effects. The conversation reveals how Grey spent six months alone in a remote Oregon cabin without indoor plumbing, hiking a quarter mile to reach it, where she reconnected with music after burning out from the LA industry. She describes writing her career-defining hit in just 15 minutes while accessing internet at a local café, then suddenly being pursued by Dr. Dre, Eminem, and Puff Daddy. Grey details severe imposter syndrome that followed, making her feel the success was a fluke and causing her to walk out of high-level songwriting sessions in tears. The episode shifts to her current life on 400 acres in Napa, where she and partner Elliott Mondavi run an organic vineyard and manage livestock. Grey recounts a harrowing months-long battle with two mountain lions that killed 17 of her 20 sheep, describing how the predators used whistling sounds to communicate and coordinate attacks. Throughout, Grey discusses her creative process, the pressure she puts on herself that causes five-year gaps between albums, and her goal to release music annually going forward. She explains her new album Wasted Potential as a coming-of-age story about her Wisconsin upbringing and her depression about turning 40 while feeling she hadn't accomplished enough. The conversation touches on the value of rural isolation for creativity, the dangers of LA's industry gatekeepers, and why she believes imposter syndrome is inherent to genuine creative people.
Key takeaways
- Grey revealed she edited hardcore porn for two weeks after going broke in LA, developing hallucinatory Tetris effect from viewing graphic content daily.
- She wrote Eminem's number one hit Love the Way You Lie in 15 minutes from an Oregon cabin without plumbing, accessible only by quarter-mile hike.
- Two mountain lions killed 17 of Grey's 20 sheep over several weeks on her Napa ranch, using whistling vocalizations to coordinate attacks and confuse tracking dogs.
- A high school algebra teacher told Grey music isn't a career, prompting her to drop out at 16 despite maintaining a 3.9 GPA and touring professionally since age 6.
- Grey experienced severe imposter syndrome after instant success, walking out of songwriting sessions crying because she felt the hit came too easily.
- She plans to release albums annually instead of every five years, saying she's wasted potential by being too self-critical and not having fun.
- Grey owns a 400-acre biodynamic vineyard in Napa with partner Elliott Mondavi, selling grapes to five winemakers who produce single-estate wines under the Glass Rock label.