Paramedic Questions Whether Ultra Running is Masking Addiction Rather Than Healing Trauma
"Are you using it to run towards something, or are you using it to run away from something? Like, all these pursuits can be distractions from some other discomfort. It can be an effective way to, like, mask whatever other discomfort you really don't want to deal with. Or it can be a way of confronting that so that you can heal it and become more whole."
About this episode
On this episode of the Rich Roll Podcast, host Rich Roll interviewed Andy Glaze, an ultra-endurance athlete, paramedic, and author known as the smiling ultra runner. The conversation centered on Glaze's harrowing journey from severe crystal meth addiction as a teenager to becoming one of the world's most inspiring endurance athletes, currently maintaining a 320-week streak of running 100 miles per week. Glaze revealed for the first time publicly that he was sexually abused by a teacher at age 16-17 while attending John Dewey Academy, a therapeutic boarding school in Massachusetts, and that the teacher continued the pattern with other students and eventually became pregnant by one of them. The episode explored Glaze's descent into addiction at age 15 following his father's terminal cancer diagnosis, his placement in abusive therapeutic programs including wilderness camps and a boarding school that practiced conversion therapy, and his multiple cycles of sobriety and relapse. Most significantly, Glaze disclosed that after using ultra running to manage severe PTSD from his work as a paramedic for five years, it has recently stopped working, forcing him to seek therapy including EMDR and CPT. The conversation examined the complex relationship between addiction and extreme endurance sports, with Glaze acknowledging he has an obsessive-compulsive relationship with running that may be masking rather than healing underlying trauma. Roll and Glaze discussed transformation as a decades-long process requiring patience, the importance of failing forward, and how personal growth serves others beyond oneself.
Key takeaways
- Glaze revealed he was groomed and sexually abused by a female teacher at age 16-17 at John Dewey Academy and she later became pregnant by another student.
- After using ultra running for 5 years to manage PTSD from paramedic work, Glaze disclosed it recently stopped working and he now requires therapy including EMDR.
- Glaze became addicted to crystal meth at age 15 after his father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, eventually running away from home before being found strung out.
- John Dewey Academy conducted conversion therapy on gay students and forced a student to watch a Lifetime movie about his mother murdering his father.
- Glaze acknowledged the disproportionate number of recovering addicts in ultra running and questioned whether extreme exercise masks trauma or genuinely heals it.
- Glaze addressed the firefighter and paramedic suicide crisis that he says is rarely discussed publicly due to stigma around mental health in those professions.
- After multiple cycles of sobriety and relapse, Glaze achieved lasting sobriety following a panic attack after smoking weed while recovering from being hit by a car during his divorce.