What happened in this episode?
Jack Neel interviews US divorce lawyer James Sexton on infidelity, divorce incentives, and what he argues actually breaks marriages. Sexton says courts typically do not impose meaningful legal penalties for cheating, contending that adultery is often emotionally decisive but rarely determinative in asset division or custody. He advances a broad definition of “cheating” — behaviour a person would avoid in their partner’s presence — and on that basis claims “90 plus%” of people cheat, while also describing how modern devices and integrated messaging leave digital trails.
The pair discuss sexless marriages, monogamy and gendered sexual behaviour claims, with Sexton arguing that biological drives may explain but do not excuse infidelity. He also claims that algorithm-driven outrage and impossible relationship ideals increase conflict and, by extension, divorce.
On technology, Sexton says he has not yet seen marriages end due to “AI girlfriends”, but reports AI is already shaping disputes as litigants file court papers produced by tools such as Claude or ChatGPT, which he says are often wrong. He also describes using AI productively to analyse large trial transcript datasets.
Sexton recounts a specific case in which, he alleges, a husband spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on TikTok Live gifts, triggering claims of wasteful dissipation and custody consequences amid wider behavioural concerns. He also outlines practical difficulties proving self-custodied crypto “hard wallets” in discovery.
The interview turns personal when Sexton describes his mother’s long cancer journey and its effects on family dynamics, and he claims the death of a child is among the strongest predictors of subsequent divorce in his experience.
