What happened in this episode?
Lewis Howes interviews behavioural researcher and Science of People founder Vanessa Van Edwards about what she presents as the “science of communication”, with a focus on how technology use may be altering everyday conversation. Van Edwards argues that people are increasingly doing their “social reps” with AI assistants, voice notes and social media rather than in synchronous dialogue, and says this can weaken reciprocity, feedback and the sense of being “understood”. She describes noticing more directive language when people speak to AI and predicts that current adults may be the last generation to learn conversational skill primarily by talking face-to-face.
She also frames loneliness as a growing social problem, claiming one in six people worldwide are affected, and links it to the substitution of real-time interaction with online updates and asynchronous messaging. In workplace terms, she argues that conversational skill functions as “career insurance” against AI, suggesting organisations should treat connection-building as an input to productivity rather than a distraction.
Across the episode, Van Edwards outlines a three-level model of connection (general traits, personal concerns, and self-narrative), warns against questions that push people into defensive or overly deep disclosures too quickly, and discusses cues associated with signalling warmth and competence. Howes presses on how to use deeper questions safely, and Van Edwards cautions about “vulnerability regret” when disclosures are met poorly.
