What happened in this episode?
Lewis Howes interviews Dr Kim Foster, a former family physician who now works as an author and online coach, about behaviour change through identity rather than willpower alone. Foster draws on two decades in primary care to argue that many patients had motivation and information but still reverted to old habits because they did not see themselves as “that kind of person” (for example, “I’m not an exercise person”). She outlines a three-part framework—“recognise, redesign, ritualise”—and introduces “bridge identities” as intermediate self-concepts designed to be believable enough for the brain to accept while new evidence is gathered through small actions.
The conversation turns personal as Foster describes leaving medicine after 20 years, saying she had prepared a resignation for early 2020 but stayed through the first wave of Covid-19, which she recalls as professionally and personally frightening. She recounts her last day in clinic and describes crying afterwards, framing it as “identity grief” and the end of a long-held self-concept.
Elsewhere, Foster argues shame-driven self-improvement is typically unsustainable, and that habit tactics work best when paired with underlying belief change. She shares a residency story about performing CPR and feeling ribs crack, and offers practical communication habits for appearing more “magnetic”, including reducing self-monitoring, pausing before speaking, and maintaining eye contact. The episode ends with her “three truths” about human change, evolving beyond identities that once served, and living in the present.
